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American Religious Diversity Final

Dr. David Lane

May 22, 2003

Question #1

            Name: Joel Shrader

Question #2

            User Name: srfoofer@aol.com

Question #3

            Attendance: I was absent to one lesson and I was late only one time.

Question #4

My first film was entitled The Gulf War II, A tribute.  Some described it as an overly patriotic, pro-war, flag-waving piece of propaganda.  Needless to say, they did not share my point-of-view.  The film showed the human side of the war.  It showed some of the sacrifices that many have made, including death, for their cause.  It contained images of both Coalition and Iraqi forces.  It was a compilation of images grouped in themes; The Conflict, The Sorrow, The Troops and The Outcome.  I made no attempt to demonize anyone, but the film was definitively pro-American.  The song used was God Bless the USA, and it was edited on i-movie. 

My second film was entitled Devil Inside.  It began with the introduction of good vs. Evil, while Gregorian chant played in the background.  I showed several pictures of angels and demons.  The song changed to The Devil Inside at which time I began showing images of former world leaders, responsible for the deaths of millions of people.  I transitioned to images of notorious serial killers such as Ted Bundy.  To lighten the mood slightly, I included several cartoon images depicting evil characters.  This film was edited with Sonic My DVD software, which was included with the Sony DVD burner used to produce the film. 

Question #5

            I read the following books: all of World Religions in America, 90% of The Meme Machine, all of Consilience, all of Malcolm X and 35% of One Taste. 

Question #6

Field Trip: http://jshrader0.tripod.com/

Question #7

Autobiography: http://jshrader0.tripod.com/

Question #8

 My midterm grade was a B.  For a semester grade I deserve an A.  I have worked very hard throughout the course and committed many hours to completing the assigned tasks.  Besides the amount of work and effort, I have actually learned many important and practical things in this class.  I have learned to create a web site, make digital films, and I have learned to be more tolerant and understanding of other cultures and religions.  This class has wiped out years of misinformation and ignorance regarding Islam.  In this time of terror attacks and alert level orange, it is nice to be informed of whom the enemy really is; ignorance.

Question #9

I deserve an A because I completed all the requirements of the course.  I actively participated in each class discussions and gave relevant feedback when asked.  I have a fulltime job and I am a fulltime student, and yet, I dedicated at least 150 hours outside of class time to this course, which is more time than I spent on my CECS 174 (computer programming) and Digital logic and Design courses combined.  My attendance was good.  I feel that I have learned very practical and useful things in class.  Also I had to endure reading Ken Wilber.  I have never heard of anyone quoting himself nearly as much as he does.  That alone should get me the A.

 

Question #10

Malcolm X once stated, I am not a racist in any form whatsoever.  I dont believe in any form of discrimination or segregation.  I believe in Islam.  I am a Muslim and there is nothing wrong with being a Muslim, nothing wrong with the religion of Islam.  It just teaches us to believe in Allah as the God.  Malcolm had realized that what he had experienced in the form of religions, being a Baptist and afterward a member of the Nation of Islam, is that he has always been directly or indirectly taught to discriminate.  His fathers influence and promotion of Marcus Garveys back to Africa movement was a racially motivated separatist idea.  During his time with Elijah Muhammad and the Nation of Islam, Malcolm was once again geared toward a separatist mentality.  As a young man in Boston and New York, Malcolm accepted that the races needed to be kept separate.  This is all he knew and had experienced.  All this changed with Islam.

            When Malcolm met Orthodox Muslims he began to realize that there is great diversity and harmony within the Islamic world.  All his life Malcolm wanted to feel that he belonged.  As a child, he excelled in school to show that he belonged.  In Boston, he changed his wardrobe and endured painful hair treatments to fit in.  With the Nation of Islam, he preached the doctrines of Elijah Muhammad so that he could be accepted.  He learned through many painful lessons that he was never truly accepted.  During his pilgrimage to Mecca, Malcolm felt that he had finally found a place where he belonged, Islam.  You could be a king of peasant and no one would know . . . packed in the plane were white, black, brown, red, and yellow people, blue eyes and blond hair, and my kinky red hair all together brothers!  All honoring the same God, all in turn giving equal honor to each other. . . (Haley, pg. 330)  He was amazed by the diversity of the pilgrims and their attitude toward each other.  For the first time in his life he felt truly accepted and that he belonged. 

            Islam culminated Malcolms search for equality.  He found a place where his skin color did not dictate how he was treated or perceived.  This was an incredible experience that he quickly shared with others.  Malcolm stated: America needs to understand Islam; because this is the one religion that erases from its society the race problem . . . I have never before seen sincere and true brotherhood practiced by all colors together, irrespective of their color (Haley, pg. 347).  He envisioned Islam as the means to unite the races and promote social wellbeing. 

http://www.malcolm-x.org/islam.htm

http://www.colostate.edu/Orgs/MSA/find_more/m_x.html

http://www.soundvision.com/info/racism/xletter.asp

Question #11

            There are several periods in Malcolms life that motivated his understanding of race relations; his upbringing in Lancing Michigan, his education in Boston and New York and his pilgrimage to Mecca.

            Growing up in a small town in Michigan, Malcolm Little was introduced to extreme racism in very personal ways.  His father, a Baptist preacher, advocated the teachings of Marcus Garvey and his Back to Africa movement.  Malcolm was taught that blacks and whites had no business living together, and only by leaving America and going back to Africa, will blacks be freed and able to succeed.  When he was four years old, his home was burned down by the Ku Klux Klan, and a couple years later, his father died at the hands of racist white men.  When asked by his teacher what he wanted to do when he grew up, Malcolm stated that he wanted to be a lawyer, his teacher quickly stated, A lawyer, thats no realistic goal for a nigger.  You need to think about something you can be (Haley, pg. 38).  This cemented his belief that no matter how hard he worked or how well he did in school, in the eyes of the white man he would always be just a nigger.

            Detroit Red, as he was known during his hustler years in Boston and New York, was a person that made a living by exploiting the differences between black and white Americans.  Red knew that most Americans of the time, even those that embraced the African American culture, were biased toward blacks and considered them all to be ignorant.  But I knew that the white man is rare who will ever consider that a Negro can outsmart him (Haley, pg. 148).  He comments in the book that he prayed on the fears and ignorance of people.  He knew when to play dumb and when not to.  When he was arrested for burglary he soon realized that his biggest crime was not stealing, but being involved with white women.  He stated, We seemed to be getting sentenced because of those girls (Haley, pg. 153).  His suspicion was confirmed when his attorney responded, You had no business with white girls!(Haley, pg. 153).  He clearly understood what was about to happen.

            Malcolm X came full circle in his transformation and understanding of race relations when he became El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz.  While in Mecca, Malik witnessed that it was possible for all races to live in harmony; he credited Islam for it.  For the first time in his life he felt comfortable around the white man.  He learned that what he despised was not the skin color, but the attitude of American whites.  He stated: During the last eleven days here in the Muslim world, I have eaten from the same plate, drunk from the same glass and slept in the same bed (or on the same rug) while praying to the same God with fellow Muslims, whose eyes were the bluest of blue, whose hair was the blondest of blond, and whose skin of the was the whitest of white (Haley, pg. 347).  He clearly learned to differentiate color from attitude.  He understood that the color of ones skin did not dictate ones behavior.  It was this experience and his experiences while traveling in Africa, which made him, re-evaluate his beliefs.  He stated: In the past, yes, I have made sweeping indictments of all white people.  I will never be guilty of that again.  He learned his lesson and made the best of it.

 

Question #12

There is only one Islam, but like everything else, there is more than one school of thought.  The two main schools of thought are the Sunni and the Shia.  In essence, both are similar, they both pray to the Quran and adhere to the five pillars of Islam.  They practice the same rituals and observe the same holidays.  Those who live their lives based on the life, sayings and teachings of the Prophet Muhammad, are known as Sunni.  The Shia, in addition to sharing the beliefs of the Sunni, observe the teachings of Ali,

Muhammads son-in-law.  Although there are only two main branches of Islam, there are multiple variations of both based on regional, cultural and geographical influences.

http://adaniel.tripod.com/islam.htm

 

Question #13

            Wilber argues for a holistic approach in the understanding of religion and spiritual life because he believes that the current theories of understanding are generally focused on the state of human consciousness, and its biological origins.  Wilber states: Much of todays research into consciousness focuses on those aspects that have some sort of obvious anchoring in the physical brain, including the fields of neurophysiology, biological psychiatry and neuroscience (Wilber, 2000).  He believes that science is more interested in trying to determine if there is a soul, and not a spirit or spirituality.  Wilber believes that the key to understanding religion and spirituality is to first understand that the spirit is a collection of both physical and metaphysical properties. 

            Contrary to most of the worlds religions, Wilber believes That what we experience as God is simply a limited manifestation of the larger reality of Spirit as seen as seen through a particular lens of subtle archetypal awareness (1999).  To substantiate his beliefs, Wilber introduces his Quadrant theory.  The Upper-Left quadrant covers the inner-individual aspects of human consciousness, such as developmental psychology in both its conventional and contemplative forms.  The Upper-Right quadrant covers the outer-individual aspects of human consciousness, as studied by neurology and cognitive science.  The Lower-Left quadrant covers the inner-collective aspects of human consciousness, as studied by the sciences of culture, such as cultural psychology and anthropology.  The Lower-Right quadrant covers the outer-collective aspects of human consciousness as studied by sociology.  It is only when one applies all these disciplines collectively that one comes close to understanding spirituality.

http://Wilber.shambhala.com/html/books/psych_model/psych_model1.cfm/xid.411/yid.90513524

 

Question #14

            Wilson would think that Wilber is too vague and unstructured.  Wilson likes order and structure; his theories are based on specific properties of that can be analyzed separately, such as science.  Wilsons approach to analyzing transpersonal psychology would first be based on the influence of math, physics, chemistry, and biology on the human brain.  Only then would he venture into sociological sciences.  Wilber argues for a holistic approach to everything.  His disciplines are not based on solid scientific foundations, but primarily the metaphysical.  Unlike Wilson, Wilbers theories are all encompassing, if he cannot find a solution in the scientific realm, he goes back to the metaphysical, as he finds it convenient.  He feels that there is no specific hierarchy to knowledge, that all knowledge is interconnected and one can easily navigate back and forth to obtain a solution.  Wilbers need to be everything to everyone makes him to broad, unfocused and rather unreliable.    

 

Question #15

            Ken Wilber believes that God is a reflection or manifestation of ones own spirit.  Therefore, Osama Bin Laden is not justified in claiming that he is declaring jihad in the name of Allah, since in reality what he is doing is manifesting his own hate toward America and Western Nations.  Wilber explains, What we experience as God is simply a limited manifestation of the larger reality of Spirit as seen through the particular lens of subtle or archetypal awareness (Wilber, 2000).  Wilber would argue Bin Ladens need to analyze what his true motivations are.  He would state that Bin Laden has not yet transcended beyond the pre-rational state of consciousness into the trans-rational state, since he still finds it necessary to subjugate himself to an external deity. 

 

Question #16

The Random House Websters College Dictionary describes morality as conformity to the rules of proper conduct.  Moral is described as pertaining to, or being concerned with the rules of right conduct, or the distinction between right and wrong.  It does not define it as something pertaining to religion.  Humans are social beings, so it stands to reason that we would want to be together.  To maintain the peace and order, it became necessary to establish certain ground rules.  These rules are the basis of moral law. 

Morality is generally associated with religion because most, if not all, religions have a strict set of rules that one must adhere to.  These rules are generally universal, and can be found in one form or another amongst different religions.  This universality of morals as religious doctrines serves several purposes.  It gives people an incentive to follow the rules, by keeping them out of hell or purgatory.  It also makes it easier to police the masses, since God sees everything. 

In America and the rest of the world, having a universal set of rules or moral laws (or my favorite, the Golden Rule), makes it possible for members of all religions to congregate since they know that even though they might have differences in ideology, deep down, they have the same set of values.  Morality provides the common ground needed for diversity.

Question #17

            Given Americas religious melting pot, the best way to approach religious diversity is through education.  By making people of all religions aware of the intricacies of other religions, we can learn and appreciate them.  As Americans, we have overcome many social and racial barriers, but only after learning and being exposed to them.  Recently, on May 19th, I became an American Citizen. There were people from seventy-four different nations present at the ceremony, and probably as many different religions.  We all had one thing in common; we wanted to become United States Citizens.  If so many different people can come together under one roof and work toward a common goal, then we should be able to spend a few hours learning about other religions.

 

Question #18

            Religion will never disappear, even after we become more scientifically oriented, because as humans we are predisposed to animate what we do not understand.  Many of the actions and decisions that we make are not based on rational and collective processes.  Most of us base our choices on intuition or a gut feeling.  We pride our selves in being able to deduce answers based on intuition.  Most people believe in luck and in a sixth sense.  It is this need to believe in non-sense that will always keep religion, in one form or another, alive regardless of technological advances.   

 

Question #19

Wilber believes that all disciplines of knowledge are at equal levels, that they are intermingled and complement each other.  Wilber suggests a full spectrum catalogue of knowledge, one in which there are different levels but no one level is above another.  He states, These stages or levels of development are not the rigid, linear, rungs-in-a-ladder phenomenon portrayed by their critics, but rather appear to be fluid, flowing, overlapping waves (Wilber, 2000).  The overall spectrum ranges from the pre-personal to the personal to the transpersonal.

Wilber wants to transcend physicality, while Wilson is fixated on reducing everything to its physical, tangible components.  Wilber would argue that Wilsons intertheoretic reductionism is flawed because it tries to use science to explain all phenomena.  Wilson uses a fixed, rigid standard, one that cannot be used to analyze all experiences.  Wilsons approach does not leave any room for the metaphysical.  It literally converts everything into a new religion, science. 

 

Question #20

            The most valuable thing I learned this semester is what it really means to be a Muslim and follow the teachings of Islam.  Until this semester, ALL I knew about Muslims and Islam was that their religion bread fanatics and terrorists.  I had no additional knowledge of any of the doctrines or principles of Islam. 

My previous knowledge was based on what I have seen on television and in the movies; always portraying all Muslims as assassins waiting for their opportunity to strike against the American infidels.  I cannot believe I distrusted one-sixth of the worlds population based on what I had seen on television.  If the worlds citizens judge Americans solely on the content of our television programs, they would think that we are all drug using, socially irresponsible, gun-carrying, immoral capitalist pigs.  I am not denying that Muslim terrorist exist, nor am I saying that all Muslims love Americans, but I now know that the majority of the worlds one billion Muslims are normal law-abiding citizens. 

Islam is one of the most open and inclusive religions in the world.  Most Christians believe that Islam is radically different from Christianity, which in reality it is not. Today, more than ever, it is necessary for Non-Muslims to expand their knowledge of Islam.  Islam is currently the third largest religion in the United States and by the year 2010, it is expected to be the second largest (Esposito, pg. 173).  Muslims are not going to go away.  It behooves Americans to learn about Islam and remove the current stereotypes that cloud our judgments.

 

Question #21

            Stephen J. Gould would argue that it is extremely difficult to know the evolutionary function of religious belief, because one does not know and could not prove the origin of religion itself.  Religion or the understanding of religious ideals could be a spandrel that resulted from our ever-developing brain.  As our brains became increasingly complex, we became capable of processing irrational thoughts, a must in religion. 

Religion could be the unintended consequence of our innate need to animate.  Animism can evolve, into religion, but it is unlikely that it is reciprocal. 

 

Joel Shrader

May 11th, 2003

Religious Diversity 2

Professor Christopher Lane

 

Religious Field Trips

 

One of the field trips that I took was to the Indian Restaurant Kamal Palace in Seal Beach.  After seeing many commercials on television, and hearing our instructor praise Indian cuisine, I felt that it would be an excellent choice for a field trip.  We decided to have dinner there.

Upon entering the restaurant I was amazed by the incredibly pungent smell of the establishment.  It was not a bad scent but very pungent.  The restaurant was more elegant than I had expected and the service was great.  I was expecting more traditional decorations then there were, but it was still nice.  There was Indian music playing softly in the background, which was rather soothing and interesting.  After we were seated, a plate containing pappadam was brought to our table.  Since we were there to learn about the culture and the cuisine we decided to try it all.  We were instructed to dip the pappadam in a sweet sauce.  The sauce was jelly-like and it tasted somewhat like mango.  I am not sure what the name of the sauce was.  The pappadam tasted bitter, garlicky and had an aftertaste that would not go away.  It was unfortunate that the pappadam was so terrible because it made me weary of the rest of the food.  When it came time to pick an entrée I asked our server to pick for me, he said that the chicken tikka masala was one of their most popular dishes, so I went with his suggestion.  I do not know why I was under the impression that all Indian cuisine was vegetarian in nature, I was surprised to see poultry and lamb in the menu.  I did not see any beef in the menu, nor did I expect to.  This was the first time that I ever had any Indian food and I wasnt sure exactly what it would look like.  When my food was brought to the table I was surprised by its color.  My food was brought in two plates; one plate containing rice, and a copper clad bowl containing the chicken.  The portions of food were small.  The rice was white with small pieces of herbs mixed in with it.  The chicken was immersed in a bright, tomato red cream sauce that had the consistency of paint.  I never seen anything that color and considering my experience with the pappadam, I was somewhat hesitant to taste the food.  I smelled the food several times before digging in, and I would be lying if I did not say that the smell almost made me walk away.  Since I was determined to make the best of the experience, and considering that there are over a billion people on earth that eat this food, I said to myself, how bad could it be?  When I bit into the food I was pleasantly surprised.  I was glad that the taste did not resemble the smell.  The chicken was somewhat sweet in taste and the rice was rather mild.  I ordered a side of garlic nan bread, which was very delicious.  When I was eating the nan bread I remembered the story of the Indian woman that had a near death experience and stated that she saw an image of a golden, flying, nan.  I can see why.  Overall the meal was good but I the aftertaste of the pappadam was relentless and overpowering the rest of the meal.  I will try Indian food again; however, I will definitely avoid the pappadam and will not likely try any more dishes that contain the yogurt bases sauces.  I am glad that I tried the food and look forward to more nan bread.

The second visit was to a Christian church in Tijuana called Templo Adventista Alegria which translates as The Adventist Temple Happiness or Joy.  The church members called themselves Christians, most were baptized Catholic and followed the doctrines of the Catholic Church until they were born again.  Although they did not call themselves Jehovahs Witnesses, they believe it is their duty to spread the word of God to all.  Their temple is a building that is currently under construction.  One of the members of the congregation donated the lot and theyve been building ever since.  The structure has a rectangular base and a semi-circular, arched roof.  The walls are made of brick and contain windows with geometric figures on them.  The pews are rustic and unfinished.  The Alter is comprised of a table draped with a piece of cloth which is decorated with several flowers. 

It must have been apparent that I was not a regular member of their church; since people started introducing themselves to me and began telling me how great it was to belong to their congregation and how I would benefit from accepting God into my life.  It did not take long for the show to begin.  When the pastor came out, he was nicely dressed in an expensive looking suit with rather expensive looking shoes and a real nice watch.  He drove up in a nice Cadillac, which I found rather interesting. 

The emphasis of the sermon was on the power of prayer and its healing qualities.  After a few animated speeches by the pastor, we began a group prayer in which we all held hands in a circle while some of the participants announce to the group the physical ailments they were suffering from.  The group prayed for them and said that God will cure them.  After some prayer the group began singing religious songs, none of which I knew.   The pastor stated that God had given him the power to heal those that believe in him (the pastor).  He recited the names of those that had suffered from incurable diseases, such as cancer, and were now healed, (curiously, none of them were in church that day) and how thanks to the power God bestowed upon him, many more could also be healed.  I hate to sound so skeptical or despairing towards their religion or beliefs, but I do not buy that CRAP.  After a few more songs, people started coming up to the pastor so that he may heal them.  One-by-one, he would place his hand on them and asked them if they truly believed in the healing power of Christ, and then he stated that if they believed, and prayed, that they would be cured.  Those needing to be healed would state what they were believers and listed their sufferings.  He is a strong believer in the healing powers of prayer but only for those that truly believe in him.  Many in the congregation cheered those that had the conviction to accept the lord and gave words of encouragement to them. 

As the session wound to an end, the pastor asked for donations.  As a Catholic, I am used to seeing a basket being passed around, and people voluntarily placing as little or as much money as they want into it.  Ive never been told that I HAD to contribute, and much less, how much.  When donations were requested, it was stated that the temple needed some additional work (which was obvious), and that they were raising funds to help out a family in need.  I was told that an appropriate donation is 10% of my gross income.  Let me just say that they did not get any money from me, but I was an exception.  Considering how many members attend the church, the size of their contributions, and how long theyve been contributing, I wonder why no one questions where has all the money gone? 

Before I left, I was asked if I planned to return.  I was told that the only way to obtain salvation was to accept Christ into my life.  I guess I must be going to hell, because I just dont see what they see.  I wonder why no one questions what to me seems obvious, and why they are so willing to jeopardize their health, and their ability to obtain proper medical attention.  I just dont get it.

Joel Shrader

R/ST 302I

Dr. Lane

3/23/03

 

Autobiography

 

As a child raised by a racially diverse couple, I had the benefit of experiencing many things that the average American did not.  My mother is Mexican, of predominately Spanish descent.  My biological father was Mexican, he died when I was five months old, and I have no recollection of him.  My mother remarried several years later and my siblings and I were adopted.  My adoptive father, whom I shall refer to as my father, was an American of German descent.  My parents had different religious backgrounds and a totally different upbringing.  I will elaborate on my parents upbringing since their personal, religious and cultural influences are what made me the person that I am today.

My mother is a Mexican Catholic, who was born in the city of Pachuca, in the state of Hidalgo, and was raised by devoutly Catholic parents.  My mother is the youngest of four children.  She was raised by a very protective mother.  My mother was not allowed to play with children outside the family; she was primarily home-schooled, my grandmother felt that the best possible friend a girl could have was her mother.  My grandmother worked as a midwife, she would travel up to one hundred miles in the rural country side to deliver babies, and she would always bring my mother along.  My mother assisted my grandmother since the age of seven.  At the age of thirteen my mother went to nursing school; she graduated at the age of sixteen and worked as a nurse in the citys General Hospital.  When my mother was seventeen, my grandmother developed septicemia, which is the development of pathogenic organisms in the blood.  This illness lead to my grandmother literally rotting from the inside out.  My mother had the difficult task of nursing my grandmothers wounds.  She cared and comforted her until the day she died, which was four months later.  This experience strengthened my mothers character.  

My father was an American of Protestant faith who was born in the town of Lincoln, Nebraska.  He was born in 1919, the sixth of seven children, who were raised primarily by my grandmother.  My grandfather committed suicide when my father was five years old; he had a tumor in his brain that caused him extreme pain.  As a child my father worked in the family farm, but the dust bowl years of the 1930s cost them their farm, so they did what everyone else did; moved west.  At the age of fifteen, my father moved out, and began life on his own.  When World War II began my father volunteered into the Navy; he was part of an Underwater Demolition Team.  By the time my parents met, my father had been married four times, three of his marriages lasted less than two years.  He had fathered five children and adopted four others.  His third wife died of cancer after fifteen years of marriage.  After my parents married, he adopted my three siblings and me.  Their marriage lasted fifteen years; he died in 1999 of leukemia.  My father was an incredible man with an unyielding work ethic.  He worked hard all his life.  For nearly fifty years he worked in construction, he owned his own concrete company for the first thirty years, the last twenty years he worked as a cement finisher for other companies.  He retired at the age of seventy three.  He was a very brave man.  I dont know what takes more courage, volunteering to place bombs on the side of enemy ships in Japanese controlled harbors or marrying a woman with four young children at the age of sixty five.

I was born in Tijuana, Mexico, the son of Catholic parents so naturally I was baptized Catholic.  Shortly after my birth, my father died of an unknown illness.  A viral infection mortally damaged his internal organs.  He died in less than four months; he was twenty seven years old.  During the first years of my life, my mother, with the help of her family, took care of us.  After a couple of years, the help disappeared and my mother was on her own with four young children.  She worked very hard to keep us clothed and fed.  The loss of my grandmother and the loss of my biological father tested my mothers religious conviction.  She wondered why someone who had dedicated her life to helping others could face such adversity, but she never lost her faith.  When I was five years old, my mother made the hardest decision of her life; she placed her children in an orphanage in Mexico.  The orphanage was financed and managed by American Christian missionaries.  She came to Los Angeles and worked illegally in several factories, she would average over eighty hours of work a week.  She wanted to give us a better life, and she thought she was doing what was best for us, since we were very close to being homeless at the time; this way my siblings and I would stay together and have a roof over our heads.

After entering the orphanage, my faith in God and in humanity was severely tested.  Shortly after entering I learned that not all missionaries are good, in fact many of them are pure evil.  After the first week in the orphanage, I was beaten on a nearly daily basis by the orphanage administrator.  I was hit with belts, broom sticks, boards, and sometimes my bare feet would be stomped on.  It was not very pleasant.  As terrible as that was, It could have been worse.  On a regular basis American Christian missionaries would drive to the orphanage and adopt some of the older boys for a week.  They would take their adopted child on vacation and some of them were molested sexually.  My older brother was one of the boys that were adopted, a man of God tried to rape him, he was nine years old at the time.  My stay in Hell lasted four months; it ended when my brother told my mother what had occurred.  My mother notified the authorities and the orphanage was closed down.  Medical examinations proved that several of the boys had been raped, luckily my brother was not.  These incidents nearly killed my faith.  The people that ran the orphanage were NOT Catholic, and for many years I was distrustful of all Christians.  Our mother never made us go to church again; she said that church would always be there when we needed it.

My mother vowed to keep us together no mater what happened.  I dont recall ever having a babysitter past the age of five; I was expected to behave.  My mother worked two full time jobs to keep us together.  My older brother would help cook for us and he would iron our mothers work uniforms, he was ten years old at the time.  Every day after school my brother would go to the supermarket and work for tips bagging groceries.  He would work four hours a day and then come home and make diner for my mother and us.  He would always give whatever money he made to our mother.  He did this for several years through the age of thirteen.  I use to collect aluminum cans and refundable soda bottles and turn them in for cash.  I would usually buy myself a lollypop and give the rest of my money to my mom.  I wanted to do my part as well.

When I was ten years old my mother remarried, that is when my brother stopped working and we all regained what was left of our childhood.  My father was a great man; I cant say that enough.  Not only did he give us our childhood back, he gave us our mother back as well; she stopped working sixteen plus hours a day.  My father was not a very religious man but he was a spiritual man.  He believed in God, but he did not force religion on us.  He always said that God was in our hearts and if we lived an honorable life and lived by the Golden Rule we should have no problem getting into heaven.  This oddly enough was a novel concept to me.  As a Catholic it is understood that God is at church and you should go every Sunday.  Even though my mother did not force religion on us, it is understood that if you want to go to heaven, then you need to go to church and pray.  My father lived by his beliefs, he was a very fair man, and he always treated people the way he would want to be treated. 

My fathers through his actions proved to me that not all Christians are pedophiles.  I learned that there is worthless trash in all religions and that one should not judge a religion based on the actions of some of its followers.  You can imagine my surprise when Catholic priest were being accused of molesting children.  However, I still feel a strong distrust of anyone that is overly religious, I wonder what sins they are trying to make up for. 

I have always been very mature for my age; my experiences as a child changed my life forever.  Ive always looked at life from a different, rational, perspective.  I usually analyze most of the statements that people make and try to figure out their motivations before taking any action.  Generally, this gives me a better understanding of what is being said and why.  My religious faith is not exempt from rationalization.  This behavior has caused some turmoil in my life.  Ive come to the conclusion that I am not a very good Catholic, I consider myself a non-practicing Catholic.  It took some time, but I learned that there in nothing rational about any faith.  You either believe or you dont.

Now as an adult, and a non-traditional college student, I find my faith even more challenged.  Biology, chemistry and physics have nearly eradicated all traces of my faith.  It is comical to see people use scientific terms to validate their religious beliefs.  There is nothing scientific about religion. 

The Catholic influences from my mother and the spiritual influences from my father have given me an interesting perspective on religion.  My upbringing has been completely unconventional and I am aware that this has warped my perspective.  I am not ready to give up on God.  I want to believe that there is more to life than just living.  I want there to be a heaven, because I know there is a hell.  More importantly, I want to someday be reunited with my father.  As to my participation in an organized religion, I will make that choice one day at a time.  When I have children I will probably baptize them and raise them Catholic.  I will educate them the best way I can and let them decide just how involved they want to be with the church.  Having faith gives people strength and comfort, but no religious text should be interpreted literally.  If we all lived by the Golden Rule, the world would be a much happier place. 

Here I might add an entry whenever I make an update to my web site. Where appropriate, I'll include a link to the change. For example:

11/1/01 - Added new photos to Vacation Album page.

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